Today i've decided to clean my room and found a converse shoe box(first birthday gift frm my ex)in my wardrobe that contains movie tickets, birthday cards from my ex's little sister and niece, everlast box(birthday gift)and pictures of me n her. I was quite sad and happy at the same time. Sad because i think i make a major mistake and miss those happy times with her. Happy because i still got a box to remind myself about the happy days we had together.
I know i've really hurt her and everyone around her. All i wanted was her.I really got stress up with my school, projects, events, CCA and soccer that it makes me blind to see that she misses the days we had together. The messages and calls i received at school and the late night calls. All of these are signs of her missing those days. I always expect her to come to my house to surprise me when i was resting but how could she know?
She couldnt read my mind. That's impossible right?How could a person knows exactly want the other person want without telling?
After a few month that i left her, she got to know someone. She starts going out with that guys. I kept asking my friends,"Isn't it like to early for her to date?". I was very upset but why?i was the one who left her but why was i upset?One particular night,I wanted to tell her a great news about my academic result,i called her up,she picked up and told me that she will call me back as she's in the guy's car on the way home.Damn i was shocked and upset. I've always been wanting to ask her out at night but she didn't want to. Once again,why should i be upset? i was the one who left her. She is not mine anymore. How could i be so selfish?The idea of her being with another guy is just not right to me.
I admit that it was very selfish of me to think that way. Now,she seems happy with that guy. It really hurts to see the person that you've been together for more than 2 years is going out with another guy. When she change her status from single to open-relationship with this guy, i was damn shocked. She told me it's an open relationship. In my mind, but it's still a relationship,duh!!but how long can i stay upset with her?She is with someone else now. But i cant accept the fact that she is with another person. That's why i deleted her from my facebook and msn for now. Until the day i accepted that she's with someone, i will add her back.
Now i'm seeking for forgiveness from you and everyone around you. I'm really sorry for hurting all of you.Forgive me plz..
signing out,
SimplyLiving
At Last...